Crabs on the rampage

Christian and Heather, two of the "Volcano" stars, had friends visiting from New York City, so they decided to go to State Beach in Oak Bluffs and kindly invited me along as well. So far this summer I had only been swimming in the pool at Mansion House because the few times I'd cautiously dipped my toes into the water at Katama or Lobsterville, I had to restrain my teeth from chattering. The afternoon was decidedly overcast -- the sun made momentary appearances but apparently had other places to be -- but there was no rain, so we stuck around the beach for a few hours, enjoying the waves and marveling at the variety of colors and textures of the rocks and pebbles that dotted the sand.

Although the water was hardly what you'd call warm, we all ventured out and floated around (Heather and her friend and I swam out to the buoy and back, noticing the water gets markedly saltier the further out you go). The afternoon was going beautifully -- until...

A vaguely reddish shape moved beneath the slightly cloudy water. At first, it looked like a roaming piece of seaweed. But then it started scurrying over the sand much too quickly to be mistaken for a bit of vegetation caught in the current. It was a very angry crab, probably perturbed we had invaded his space.

Everyone cleared out to give Mr. Crab some room. For some reason, however, he insisted upon following me: No matter where I tried to swim, he simply scuttled right behind me, pincers waving wildly. I kept trying to remember the last time I actually ate any crab. Was it at Mediterranean, almost a month ago? There was a succulent crab sauce on the sole special, if I remember correctly. Did I still have the odor of crab consumption on me? I once knew someone who had worked in a restaurant for a long time and could tell if you had consumed garlic even days after you'd eaten it, even after you'd showered and sprayed yourself with a fragrance of choice. Perhaps this crab had a similar sixth sense for seafood.

Anyhow, he was most persistent. When he wasn't following me directly, he would sort of dance circles around me, as if he was moving in for the kill. I kept hoping he'd find another distraction; unfortunately, he was a Crab On A Mission, or something. Eventually, I summoned up my energy and swam away as quickly as I could toward the beach, leaving Crabby in a cloud of stirred-up sand.

OK, it wasn't exactly a brush with death, but it was still a close encounter with a very aggressive crustacean. It was also the first time since I've been here that I have run into an actual crab that wasn't being served up on a plate. To be honest, if I had had a bucket with me, I think I could have easily trapped that troublemaker and brought this tense tale to a delicious finale.