If you have to ask, you can't afford Edgartown

In case you worry that I have not been getting enough lobster lately, let me set your troubled mind at ease. On Monday night I stopped by David Ryan's in Edgartown to sample the acclaimed Seafood Macaroni and Cheese, which includes lobster, scallops, shrimp and a medley of white cheeses. Predictably, it was delicious. It was also indicative of what you don't get for your money when you choose to dine in Edgartown. There were no side dishes, no salad, no extra anything. And it was (gulp) $24, which turned into $25.50 with the bevy of Massachusetts taxes that are now being levied on everything. As you can see from the picture, the portion was not exactly enough to choke a horse.

It's a reminder of why Edgartown is my least favorite of the three major towns on the island. Yes, it's classy and "sophisticated." It's also rife with what the advertising world calls "snob appeal," that attitude of "if you have to ask, you can't afford it." If Vineyard Haven is the unpretentious New England town and Oak Bluffs is the place to party, Edgartown is the place for designer labels, trendy fashions and overpriced entrees. It's the place where trophy wives shop for their clothes and their husbands pay $14 for a middling martini.

It's also a nightmare to get in and out of. To reach Edgartown, you must typically pass through what locals ominously call "The Triangle," in which two narrow roads -- Edgartown/Vineyard Haven Road, coming from Oak Bluffs and Vineyard Haven, and Beach Road, coming from (surprise) the beach -- meet in what is almost always a congested intersection to form Upper Main Street. There is a stop sign at the end of Edgartown/Vineyard Haven, which gives the Beach Road traffic the right of way and puts drivers from Oak Bluffs at the mercy of the back-from-the-beach crowd. Traffic gets so unwieldy that some drivers simply give up, park their cars in the Park and Ride lot behind Edgartown Pizza and take a free shuttle into Edgartown (that's often been my strategy as well). If you do make it into Edgartown, chances are you'll have a lengthy search for a decent parking space.

Unfortunately for someone like me who would happily avoid Edgartown altogether, the community does have the best movie theater on the island (faint praise indeed). While the Edgartown 2 is nobody's idea of a superb cinema, it does have noticeably better sound and less projection problems than the other theaters. I have sometimes put off seeing a film until it was scheduled to play the Edgartown (on Monday, I saw "Inglourious Basterds" there).

Another Edgartown attraction I have to admit I really enjoy is the Among the Flowers Cafe, which has wonderful (and reasonably priced) food, extremely friendly service and an espresso shake that is beyond belief. It's also a fun place to look at: Its ceiling is so low, you feel like Alice in Wonderland after she ate the mushroom. Among the Flowers is celebrating its 30th anniversary this year, and I would not be at all surprised if it's still around 30 years from now. If you spend $25.50 there, you will at least get a substantial meal; that's certainly not true of every place in Edgartown.