Past the halfway mark already?

I just realized today that, as of Friday, I will have been here for a full seven weeks. That means I am now in the second half of my time here. In some ways it seems to have gone by incredibly quickly. Believe me, since I started working at the Playhouse, the time has truly flown. We've already done six of our 22 performances, which is quite hard to believe.

People keep asking if I'm going to stay in Martha's Vineyard. Honestly, I don't want to give a firm "yes" or "no" at this point, but I have to say it seems rather unlikely. Not that I haven't enjoyed the community or the people (or the abundance of lobster). There is so much to recommend this beautiful place, both in terms of its natural beauty and the almost supernaturally easy pace of life here. I have never lived in such a comfortable, almost entirely stress-free environment and I can certainly understand why this island has been a haven for so many for so long.

But when I look at the situation realistically, I don't see myself here in the long run. My jobs are seasonal, for one thing. My housing situation is as well. And although I've met some wonderful people out here, most of them aren't going to be staying around either.

My family and most of my friends are nearly 1,000 miles away and I am reminded of that every day. I had hoped to take a break midway through my stay and go back to Michigan to attend my friend John's wedding, but it was prohibitively expensive. I hated having to tell him I wouldn't be able to make it; even though he said he understood, it was a disappointment for both of us. And that's the sort of scenario I would be facing again and again by relocating here permanently. I have written before about how tricky it is to leave the island. Figuring out how to get to Michigan for a few days -- a journey that would have involved ferries, buses, planes, rental cars and possibly even trains and cabs -- was almost hilariously complicated and the trip would have easily cost the better part of $1,000.

At the same time, I can't see myself staying in Michigan permanently. The job market is barren and it's anybody's guess when (if ever) it's going to improve. My former position is gone and even though I have heard from friends who are "sure" I could get it back, they are sorely mistaken. It won't be happening, no matter how hard they wish it.

Anyhow, all of this has been on my mind since I had to fill out some paperwork for the Playhouse this evening that asked for my "permanent address" and I realized, perhaps for the first time in my entire life, I don't have a permanent address right now. That is a disorienting thought. Does this make me a gypsy? Homeless? A wanderer?

Ultimately, of course, I will end up living wherever I get a job. Right now, I don't know where that will be. Maybe it will be Martha's Vineyard -- but I am doubtful. I only hope I have a much clearer answer in the not-too-distant future.